ZhǐGēWéiWǔ 止戈為武 / Stopping Violence - The Art of Martial Power, Part 2

GuZhe 瞽者, Chapter 11

Previously, from chapter 10

I connected with her [my first spiritual teacher] spirit through the chanting and felt her spirit guide me at many different crossroads in my life, ones that lead me to each of my martial arts masters.

Fear and Fearless

I had the most quiet and boring summer break of my life in WàiPó‘s 外婆 (my maternal grandmother’s) home - no friends or playmates anywhere to be found. So, I practiced my chanting and walked around the mountain trails and beaches by myself every day. I enjoyed reading the big slogans painted on walls and cliffs, over and over again, each pass through the village, even though I really didn’t understand what they really meant. As in my own village, the main slogan around WàiPó‘s village was

DǎDǎoMěiDì! DǎDǎoSūXiū!

打倒美帝 ! 打倒蘇修 !

Beat down American imperialism! Beat down Soviet revisionism!

There was only one cartoon book in WàiPó house, so of course I read it on repeat, countless times. It was a story about a smart and brave Vietnamese kid who bombed an American tank during the Vietnam war. My grandmother would often talk to her neighbors with great pride - I was such a good kid, I could sit quietly for hours and read a book every day! The long, boring summer break finally came to an end and I was permitted to move back home. Upon my return, I soon began to experience several big shifts that have greatly impacted me for the rest of my life.

The first significant change was that I suddenly realized that I had overcome my fear of darkness. I had been terrified of the dark for as long as I could remember. As soon as the daylight began to dim, before it was even dark outside, I would be so scared unless there was someone immediately next to me. For example, I would often take walks around the beach with ĀMā 阿嬤 (paternal grandmother) and her friends after dinner. I would feel suddenly and immediately scared if I fell just a few steps behind them. I would stomp my feet to make loud noises with each step, which somehow always made me feel much better. Interestingly, many years later I learned from my shamanic tradition that stomping and loud clapping was a way to drive off the devil.

I clearly remember this sudden and significant change happened the very first day I returned home. Shortly after dinner, I was hanging out around the dinner table with my family. As always, my mother asked me to go upstairs to bring down the small oil lamp because it was getting dark. We had only one lamp, so we would use it downstairs while sitting around the table after the dinner and bring it upstairs to the bedroom when it was time to go up for bed. Someone had to go up the ladder each evening to fetch the lamp.

I said okay and climbed up to the bedroom. I shocked myself with my calm steps - I suddenly didn’t feel scared at all! Typically, I would purposefully slow down my last few bites of dinner, pretending I was still busy eating, and as soon as my mother turned her back to start cleaning the dishes, I would scarf the last bites of food down and run out of the house before she could say a word, which was my elaborate plan to avoid the misery of going upstairs in the dark to get the lamp. If I could not get out of it I would run quickly up the ladder, stretch my arm out and snap up the lamp, and then shoot back down, as if there were ghosts all around me. Mother often said that I was lazy when she caught me trying to escape my duty, having no idea how petrified I actually was.

I was so relieved that my strong fear of darkness and ghosts had simply evaporated. From then on, I could even walk alone through grave sites scattered throughout the wild nature of the mountains around my home, in total darkness, and without any drip of fear.

Bullies and Cowards

Another significant fear I overcame that summer was my fear of bullies. The deep connection between my mental and emotional health became very clear to me from an early age. The physical fragility of my early childhood coincided with a time marked by my extreme fear of darkness and inability to stand up for myself against other kids, especially the bullies. My brother was always tough and robust, and would often get into physical fights with other kids. If anyone dared to bully me in his presence he would fight off the bullies for me. I never helped him fight. In fact, during my childhood, I was never in a single fight, which was very unusual for boys in my hometown at that time. I knew that I was not strong and tried my utmost to stay away from physical fighting. At the same time, I wanted to be strong because I wanted to be able to stand up for myself and for those who were as weak as me. This dream drew me to start training KungFu in secret, using the illustrations of a martial arts book I had and copying the practices of other people as my guide.

Following the intuitive messages I received from my spiritual master, I soon discovered that the caretaker of our YáoBànTiān 瑤半天 (Jade Half Heaven Temple), next to the peak of QíLín 麒麟 Mountain, was a good martial arts practitioner. At that time, the temple was very simple, with a modest courtyard with stonewalls and black clay tile roof. The small main hall housed a humble clay statue of GuānYīn 觀音, one which vibrated strongly with spiritual energy. The caretaker was an old man who everyone called ĀGōng 阿公, Respected Grandfather. His room was to the left of the entrance, the opposite direction of the main hall. Most of the time, it was a quiet and peaceful place, only becoming crowded and noisy during festivals.

I visited Respected Grandfather often in the quiet days in order to learn martial arts from him. In the beginning, he didn’t give me any training at all. Instead, he chatted with me, making sure that I was the right kind of person, worthy to receive his teachings. I still remember some of our conversations:

“Why do you want to learn martial arts?”

“I would like to be strong so that I could defeat the bad guys.”

“Who are the bad guys?”

“The bullies in my school and village, who make trouble and have even beaten others.”

“Actually, you don’t need to fight with bullies. Most of them lack self confidence and are cowards. You could simply stand there, in a strong and stable position and gaze at them silently and they will probably stop attacking you. Remember, the purpose of practicing martial arts is not to get into a fight, it is the art of stopping violence. You need to cultivate your attitude of respect others, even your enemies. A fight can be avoided easily if you ground yourself and pay respect to your enemies.”

“Sounds interesting! But what if they physically attack me?”

“The next step is to learn to use your mind and body to control this attack. In order to do this, you will need train hard everyday. It will be difficult, both physically and mentally challenging. Your muscles would be sore during and after the trainings. It will take you several years to truly master my teachings. Do you still want to learn?”

“Yes, I will do my best to learn.”

Hold My Space

The local bullies often told me that I was not allowed to hang out with my own group of friends. They liked to force us into joining their gang of kids so that they could boss everyone around. Shortly after I started training with Respected Grandfather, I found that was able to stand my ground and gaze at them in silence when they came to push me around. This practice was a great way to ward them off. Even throughout my adult life, I have found this intense gazing method of staring down your enemy is an effective way to avoid physical fighting.

As my confidence grew, I found that more and more people wanted to be my friend, including some of those bullies. My friend, ThaiKo 癩疴 / Leprosy (you can read more details of ThaiKo in JingJu 井居 — Life Around the Well, GuZhe 瞽者 Chapter 6) has an older brother named Qiè 妾, Concubine. Their father, NǎoMóYán 腦膜炎, Meningitis, gave him the nickname Concubine soon after his birth because the new government had forbidden concubines in China, something which had been a part of Chinese culture for thousands of years. In my hometown, it was very common to call someone by their nickname instead of using their true names. I have never known Concubine’s real name. At the time, although Concubine was a good fighter and big trouble maker, he never bullied any kids from our yard. He followed the basic martial arts training rules we boys learned in my hometown:

• Do not beat girls

• Do not hit anyone smaller than you

• Stand up for your neighbors

• Train for justice

The summer I returned from WàiPó‘s house, Concubine suddenly took an interest in me and invited me to join his morning trainings. He taught me how to use his stone lock to make me stronger. The stone kock is a traditional Chinese tool for military and martial arts training, a precursor to the modern day kettle ball. It was made from a piece of stone and shaped like an old Chinese lock.

Figure 1. A typical stone lock

Concubine also helped me find my confidence in deep water when I still had no swimming skills. One hot and sunny afternoon, Leprosy and I, as usual, went to the beach. I stayed in the shallow water because I still did not know how to swim. Concubine came by and told me that he could teach me. I agreed to go out to the deep water with him. He held me up and told me to keep just moving - kick my feet and swing my arms. After just a few seconds, he suddenly removed his hands and swam away. I was shocked and screamed for help. He was totally ignored me and swam even further away. It was a sink or swim moment, and I realized that I was able to keep my head above water if I kept moving my arms and legs. From that day on, I could swim in the ocean using my instinctive swimming techniques. This early swimming lesson helped me master my martial arts and life philosophy—Fearlessness is the key to defeating your enemies and overcoming any obstacles in life.

Through my martial arts trainings, I have also come to understand the Daoist life philosophy that external power, money and status do not help you achieve happiness and inner peace. In order to give ourselves the best opportunity for a happy, healthy, and harmonious life, we need to be able to hold our own space while always respecting others.

After that same boring summer, I also began following my favorite math teacher’s guidance. He told me the story of DiǎnShíChéngJīn 點石成金 (Turn Stone into Gold), which became the foundational wisdom for my life and all my Daoist cultivation practices. Stay tuned to read about turning stone into gold and the next stage of my spiritual journey!